1. Always use your horn. It’s your best friend. Especially when the person in front of you decides to stop in the middle of the street next to a park talking to their friend. Force them to pull over. And yell. 

2. Your middle finger is your best friend. Because cursing loudly doesn’t mean that they can always hear you.

3. Big cars aren’t always harder to drive. Sure there’s more blind spots but its comfier and less claustrophobic. (But maybe that’s just me)

4. In L.A. people will cut you off and will annoy you. You just have to annoy them back. Offensively drive in a defensive manner.

5. Always put the parking brake on BEFORE you go into park when on a hill. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. 

6. Parallel parking on a hill is a must-know if your a San Francisco frequenter like me. 

7. Texting or calling and driving is unsafe. Bitch loudly and use obscene gestures at said cell phone user and get as far away from them as possible. 

8. If you can, learn stick shift. It’s hilariously fun and hard, great for dirty jokes, always handy, some cool to show the boys you can do (and maybe they won’t know how to themselves) and the educational part is that you learn how a car works. But the other stuff is better. 

9. Don’t wait till the last second to brake. It ruins makeup, gives you ugly forehead bruises and dents your wallet. 

10. Don’t drive a nice new car in a ghetto. Take an old car. Maybe a truck. I like trucks the best because the bed gives you space to store your chainsaw and corpses.